This is an autoethnography I wrote for class, that I’m extremely proud of and wanted to extend it to my blog. Enjoy!
Being fortunate enough to be born in the 2000s and in this present moment, I can say the progressiveness behind women’s autonomy is the highest it has ever been. When we look back at history– women have been and still are pushed to this “ideal” way of being. Boxed in by standards and ideas that have accumulated and been projected by our current systems in place. These concepts of what women should be like have not only halted women’s growth but in a way societies growth as well. I am a woman who uses profanity, rejects marriage and motherhood, incredibly selfish, and just very radical overall. Goes against every damn one of those standards. The commonality between all these decisions is CHOICE. The privilege of doing what I want simply because I said so— an action women have been historically punished for. Who I choose to be is not of the status quo and that comes with its disadvantages because what is expected of women is still upheld and even celebrated by the world around us. And when you don’t do what you’re told. You’re subject to being ridiculed, judged, isolated, and many more things that don’t feel so great. On the opposite side of that coin there is so much internal power and acceptance for yourself. You learn that you can’t please the masses and that is okay. With those disadvantages that comes with the territory to me is one prime reason why I feel these “standards” of what women should be like is halting growth because women don’t want to feel those emotions. Let’s even go back to the time where witches (women in their power) were burned for being slightly or enormously different from the average. Perhaps this fear is epigenetic and being burned literally and figuratively have carried into generations that have made my disposition and how I get interacted with presently the way it is. So I guess I can understand from a cellular level. However, to get to that point of internal power and radical self-acceptance–getting through the darkness of the things that oppose my existence is what made me stronger. It created such a cemented self-perception that no one can destabilize. This isn’t self-absorption, it’s self-possession. With this ability of mine there’s much flexibility and awareness. Social, emotional, situational, and of course self. I do consider everything when it comes to how I want someone to experience me. I just don’t let myself get imposed upon. One would say, Impregnable..a new word I discovered and very much love and feel that it aligns with this writing piece. Every woman’s standpoint won’t be exactly like mine and that’s okay. However, figure out what that is for you based on your own life and stand ten toes on it. Thou Woman Shalt Grow.
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Thou Woman Shalt Not Grow is a writing piece that shines light on an aspect of gendered communication. Specifically on the relationship between social learning and the perception of women, Rice says “Social Learning theory is based on outward motivational factors that argue that if children receive positive reinforcement, they are motivated to continue a particular behavior. If they receive punishment or other indicators of disapproval, they are more motivated to stop that behavior. In terms of gender development, children receive praise if they engage in culturally appropriate gender displays and punishment if they do not.” (par.12). The writer expounds upon this fact within adult dynamics, highlighting how these learned behaviors are detrimental to women navigating their sense of self outside of the social programming shaped by society, and how women are policed to act in ways that reinforce, rather than dismantle, what society deems as acceptable.
Question Prompt: What sparked in your mind as you read this?
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